Wedding Gay- Day, Wedding Day
by Swan.Mills7
Summary: While Emma walks down the aisle she finds herself wanting out. Who will her savior be? Or How I hope the wedding episode will turn out. SwanQueen. Rated M for language.


Have you ever stopped, just stop for a second, looked around you and not recognize where you are or how you got there? Emma Swan found herself in exactly that predicament the day of her wedding. She's wearing an awfully tight lacy white dress, her hair fixed in a bun topped by pearly beads and a long veil covering her face.

Her parents, Snow White and Prince Charming, at her sides, walking her through a long aisle. To her future husband. People she loves, likes, knows and maybe recognizes are around them, looking at her, smiling. And at the end of her trail: Killian Jones, dressed in an all black suit, looking shockingly neat despite the excessive use of eyeliner and the ridiculous earring she begged him to take off.

Emma feels sick. She tells herself it's ok to feel nervous. Cold feet they call it, though they should be warm by now, she's been talking herself into this for weeks.

Emma can't believe this is finally happening. If it were up to her she would have skipped the wedding, well not THE wedding (wait, was that an option?) no, the ceremony. She's more of a Vegas girl really, but her parents had insisted.

Sometimes Emma still wakes up in the middle of the night covered in sweat and for a second she fears that everything was a dream, she never found her parents, her son never found her, it was all a product of her eager imagination. She then clears her face of unwanted tears and takes two long breaths, looks around her and thinks hard, remembers, it did happen. She's home. She then thinks of Regina, almost by reflex. Regina taught her how to deal with these panic attacks, she has been through so much and she is willing to hold Emma's hand and pull her through it, like no one ever did for her. She's great like that.

And so Emma is grateful to have people in her life who love her unconditionally, and she's willing to do anything for them in return. Literally anything. Fight a dragon? Check. Go through a portal to another dimension to save them from a wrath/demon thingy? Check. Climb a beanstalk and confront a giant? Check. Wear pink girly dresses to dates with a pirate? Check.

She knows her parents regret sending her off as a baby. Though she's not sure if they feel worse about her growing up an orphan or about them missing out on her childhood. Probably both. Regardless, Emma wants to make them happy.

She's more agreeable than she's ever been, ever. When Emma was six no amount of begging or threatening would have made her get into a puffy dress, even back then she knew who she was and was not willing to compromise. At age sixteen Emma Swan knew she didn't need anyone to be happy, she would please no one but herself. Of course being reunited with her fairytale parents and breaking the Evil Queen's curse changed that. Go figure.

She suspects she might have taken this Killian thing a bit too far though. She went on that first date to please her mother, she never lied to herself about that, she even told Killian, not that he asked what had changed her mind, he just wanted to get the girl and didn't care how that came about. The date wasn't horrible, and if Emma found herself day dreaming about the company of another brunette, well, he didn't need to know about that either. Time passed by and she didn't break things off with him because Killian prove himself to be a good drinking buddy and their 'relationship' (can you call it that if there's no physical contact nor emotions attached?) made Snow happy.

Later on she would regret this miscalculation. Not only now when she's walking down the aisle towards him, well yes, obviously now too, but this is not a new development. She regrets not breaking things off after a few months when it would have been acceptable and her mother would have been satisfied with her giving him a chance in the first place. Instead Storybrooke happened and their relationship grew exponentially, well, complicated. They had been through so damn much, there was never a good time to break up. Whenever she felt the right time had finally come about, like when she purposely sacrificed her soul to save Regina and turned into the Dark One, or when Killian died (for God's sake that was an excellent opportunity) her mother would insist she not give up on love and hope and da da da da and blah blah blah blah. Having parents was not all it was cracked up to be. Or maybe it was just having fairytale parents who shared true love. She'll never find out either way. She only has this one pair and Emma doesn't want to give them up.

And now she's walking down the aisle to marry The. Captain. Hook. Surreal. She wishes she could wake up now and find out it was all a dream. She's still in Boston living the independent life she worked so hard to get. Except she's lying. She could never give up her parents, Henry, Regina.

And that's really the worst part about the wedding. She can't stop thinking about Regina. There she is standing next to Henry, beautiful brown eyes looking ahead, like she can't be bothered to make eye contact with Emma. And she's gorgeous, more than she has the right to be. Wearing a beautiful rose blouse and an elegant black skirt that fits her just right, hugging every curve, prolonging already longer than life legs. Or is it a dress? Emma only had a quick sneak, she really can't let herself stare for too long. Because Regina is a vision. She must know it too, she looks so pleased with herself, but doesn't she always? Except today is different, there's something else going on with her eyes, an extra glimpse. Honestly Emma thinks she looks sad, but she might be projecting. She has no reason to believe Regina feels anyway in regards to her.

Besides the obvious of course, like the way she pronounces Emma's name, slowly and provocatively, like she's savoring the syllables; or the fact that Emma is always welcome in her house, even if Henry isn't there, especially when Henry isn't there; besides their evident chemistry, their shared magic, their inconspicuous touches, often exchanged glances (Emma once told Regina to chill with the eye sex, which cost her a week worth of dinners so she never mentioned it again) not that they stopped, Regina probably doesn't know how intense her eyes are, and Emma enjoys it. Regina is a challenge, a mystery, a surprise.

Had she known how far they would come, Emma would have been more open with her from the beginning. Emma would have believed her sooner. Listened to her sooner. Loved her sooner. And it's true, Emma knows she loves Regina. It is not even platonic love, she knows, she's aware. But she's never dared share this with her. Regina is too good for her, she would never reciprocate. Besides Regina is as straight as they come and she has questionable taste in men. How else could she explain Robin Hood? The forest fart. She never did like that guy. The asshole once chose someone else over Regina, he broke her heart. Emma had been there for her and saw up close how hurt she had been. She swore never to forgive him, even after Regina did just that.

Once Emma had hoped that Regina might at least be bi. When she saw her interact with Maleficent, she knew there was shared history there, ashes and fire. Emma was jealous but also intrigued, and yes, hopeful. But she had fast discarded that theory. If Mal had had a chance with Regina, even a slight one, she wouldn't have walked away. It's impossible to walk away from her. Regina's the sun and everyone else are flowers, trees, weed.

And so Emma walks on, slowly. Heart in her throat. She hopes her parents can't hear it, though she doubts it, her heart is pumping so hard it's all she can hear. And she's so nervous, she doesn't know how she manages to put one foot in front of the other, maybe there's magic involved. She never did learn to control it, not fully.

How could she with Regina as her teacher? Too distracting. Yes, Regina is the most talented witch she's ever known, but she doesn't have much patience with Emma. She expects too much from her, and even though Emma is willing to please, she doesn't want the lessons to ever end, so, conflict of interests.

Emma wishes she could will Regina to look her way. That would surely help with her nerves. Or not, maybe it would make her stop walking altogether. Would that be too much? What if she stops and turns away? Gets in her bug and drives and drives until the tears stop coming and Storybrooke is nothing but a memory? Could she do that? Yes. But she can't phantom a life without her parents in it, without Henry, her baby brother and above all, Regina. She must have Regina in her life.

She dreads to know how their relationship will change after the wedding. Will Regina still invite her over? Will she invite Killian along? She doubts it, Regina doesn't like Killian, she thinks Emma is too good for him, she said so so many times, it became some sort of mantra. Besides Emma enjoys her alone time with Regina, the way her walls come down after a couple of Apple cider rounds, though lately her walls are down around Emma period. No alcohol needed. Emma loves it. She will miss it. She will have to learn to live without it.

Emma feels Hook squeezing her hand, she looks up and sees him looking expectantly at her. Did he ask her something? She looks around and everyone is staring at her, eyes anxious, Regina is smirking, red lips mocking her. Oh shit. Did the priest ask her already if she will marry Killian?

\- "Uhh .. Yes?"

\- "Excellent" said Artie.

\- "And you Killian, will you take Emma to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Emma feels the world stop. Killian is looking at her questioningly, that unenthusiastic "yes" was probably not what he was hoping for. But he surely knows that is all Emma can give him, after all it takes two to tango and he's been carrying her weight all along, he must know how she feels, or doesn't feel, whatever. He probably thinks love will conquer all and she will warm up to him (for a pirate, he's very gullible) and for their sakes Emma hopes she will.

Emma looks up at him and realizes the world has literally stopped. Did she do this? She didn't mean to .. She looks back at the crowd, Regina is gone. Did Regina do this? What is she supposed to do now? She takes a deep breath, counts to three and walks away. One step, two, now she's running, it surprises her how easy it is to walk away, she feels lighter, happy, free. She wants to take off her stupid dress, tear off the veil, for now she only pulls it aside, carries the dress with both hands.

Regina is outside, head between her hands. Tears coming down her face.

\- "Thank you, Regina"

Regina looks up, she looks surprised.

\- "Emma? What are you doing here?"

\- "It wasn't you who stopped the wedding?" Emma asks, it might have been her after all, yay for instinctive magic!

-"No, it was not" Regina retorts, "why would I do something as idiotic as that?"

Which, fair point, but Regina IS standing outside the church, crying.

\- "Regina talk to me, what's wrong?"

Regina looks upset, ready to bite her head off, then she seems to change her mind, she gets up and takes Emma's hand. Pulls her in and kisses her. Emma gasps but doesn't pull away. This might just be the best day of her life. Regina is kissing her and it is wonderful. Regina tastes like apple cider (had she been drinking earlier?) and tears, and she kisses her like her life depends on it, like its the last time. So Emma makes it count, she understands that Regina is trying to say good bye.

When they pull away Emma holds Regina's hands and looks at her in the eyes as she begs:

\- "Please don't walk away, please, don't leave me." Regina smiles sadly and whispers:

\- "There's a pirate inside waiting for you Emma. There's your parents and a town you don't want to disappoint. Nothing has changed."

Except everything has changed. Emma didn't know Regina felt this way, had she known, God had she known she would have stopped this parody, this farce long time ago. She would have never started it. Her parents are important and she wants them to be happy but Regina comes first, she has always come first. Since the first "Hi" since the first "our son."

She tries to tell Regina that, but before she gets the chance Regina puffs away and Emma is once again at the altar, tears down her face, eyes begging Killian to what? To say no? To send her away? Time unfreezes.

And then a collective gasp. Emma and Hook turned around to see what has happened. Emma hopes Regina changed her mind, that she came back for her, but no. There's no sexy mayor at the other end of the aisle, no false apology for being late, instead it's Emma herself, but older, with shorter hair.

Emma from the future.

"Stop the wedding!" She yells "Just stop."

Hook and Emma close their mouths almost simultaneously, as did everyone else in the room right before them. Snow goes up to future Emma and asks her what she's doing there. She must have misscalculated, surely she didn't mean to stop her own wedding.

And then future Emma has the guts to do what present Emma has never dared to do. She stands up to her parents and opens up her heart. She tells her she regrets waiting so long, she's miserable in the future, Killian and Emma are divorced and resent each other. He couldn't break down her walls, Emma couldn't get him to stop drowning himself in rum.

They moved out of Storybrooke, the presence of Regina a constant strain between them, he could never compare and she could never let go. They moved out to start over but there was nothing to build, there was nothing to salvage.

She regrets it, she didn't know how to call it quits, how to fix it. And in the end she lost her family anyway, the one thing she told herself she could never lose.

So now she is back, she wants her life back, even if she had to travel through time to do it. It wasn't easy but there was someone willing to hold her hand through it, so she managed. She doesn't mention who that someone was. Future Emma doesn't want to have that talk with her mother again.

Emma from the future walks toward the altar, looks at present Emma in the eye and then without further ado she's gone.

Emma looks at Killian, he's hesitant. Is he about to propose they try anyway? Before he forms any thoughts she kisses his cheek, apologizes and for a second time, walks away.

What now? Emma wonders. Back to the apartment she shares with Killian? Shared. She shared it with Killian, even if he was almost never there. Now he will probably go back to his boat. Emma doesn't want to stay there either. But she can't go back to her parents' now. They are probably mad at her, which, ok she did stop the wedding, but doesn't it count that she was willing to go through it for them to begin with? She knows there's a long road ahead of them. She hopes it is not too long, she knows they love her and she loves them. Just no more going along with what they say just to make them happy, that obviously doesn't work for thirty year old Emma (ok, thirty three, but who's counting?)

Emma looks down at herself and laughs. First she needs to get out of this awful dress. What had she been thinking? She magics it away and puts on her armor: Tight jeans, white shirt, red jacket, brown boots. She finally feels like her self again. No more pretending to be anyone else.

There's only one place where she wants to go now. Where she knows she belongs. She knows, not only because future Emma confirmed it with that look she gave her, but because she's always known, and so with the flavor of Regina's kiss still in her lips, Emma walks the path she's longed to walk for so long, the only path for her, really. Emma walks to Regina.

And for the second time that day she wonders how she ended up there, except this time she's happy, looking forward to the future, she wonders when her next wedding day will be, hopefully not so far in the future, and future Emma better stays put this time. Though she knows she will, she would never regret Regina. Never.

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.

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THE END


End file.
